School is in full swing this week after several days of class suspensions. We would have gotten used to a new routine had our new driver not backed out. Yep… into our third week (for bunso and 2nd for kuya) in school and he backs out. Right?! Right?!
For this school year, we have given kuya more responsibilities. During the week the bunso started school he was tasked to check his HW notebook. He also now checks his Kumon sheets, checking if he did all pages or if he made any mistakes. When school started we asked him to walk his little brother to his classroom too, it’s on the way to his anyway.
This morning, while I walked the boys to the students’ entrance, I told kuya he would be carpool with friends today going home. This boy, who is almost as tall as me and even weighs more than me, looked at me with tears in his eyes. “Why do you do this to me?! I want to go home with you!” I thought he enjoyed riding with his friends and hanging out with them. You know, binata moments. I reasoned with him we needed help since the driver left. I promised him we would bring him to school everyday but for the meantime he had to carpool going home. I think he understood but could not accept what I told him. I hugged him and promised him we would pick him up whenever we could.
Despite his big body and his brilliant mind, this boy is still a baby. While in some things he craves independence, there are moments he still clings to us like a child. After all, he is still one. Having two boys, I pretty much let them go very early. I encouraged them to do things on their own and do things without us. As early as 4 years old they rode the school bus by themselves. They usually go out of town with their grandparents and if they want to sleep with them in the other house we let them. But at the same time, the times they want to cuddle with us we let them even if we barely fit on our bed. Kuya cannot sleep without someone hugging him. Sometimes my husband and I would talk if we should “force” them to sleep on their own but then we’d realize, well, the time WILL come when they will do that on their own. We’ll enjoy our babies as long as we can.
Every year, when school starts, there is always a bittersweet feeling for me. As a parent I want them to grow up and be the man they are meant to be but I still want to hold on to them longer. And moments like this morning is a validation that for now, my baby still wants to be with his mommy as often as he can.